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“FORGIVEN FORGIVERS!”
TEXT:
Matt. 18:21-35
INTRO:
Forgiveness is an essential part of any relationship and it is a
continual part of all relationships. It is perhaps the most difficult
of all things to do!
As a boy
I felt a keen sense of the need for forgiveness -- I would ask for
forgiveness constantly from God and from my family.
(I even
hit a parked car one day while riding my bike praying for forgiveness …
later it helped when I realized the Bible said,
“watch and pray!” – kept my eyes open
after that while riding and praying!)
Too
often our “option” minded society has led us down a path that
makes us think that the
kingdom
of
God
has options in it.
ILLUS:
Buying a car: we look for options: color, make, model, stereo, carpet
style, etc. So when it comes to God's kingdom we begin to think of what
Jesus said as things we can think about and consider as options:
a. Loving
b. Giving
c. Forgiving!
d. Faithfulness
Many Christians “choose” which of these they will obey as they would
choose “options” on a vehicle.
PROP. SENT:
There can be no relationship with God without being forgiven and without
being a forgiver! In God's kingdom forgiving is not an option! -- It is
a duty!
I. NEED OF FORGIVENESS Matt. 18:21-27
A. Debt! Matt. 18:21-25
1.
Peter’s original question about how many times should he forgive someone
was interesting!
He tries
to look good by suggesting to Jesus up to 7 times!
a. The reason this sounded great was that
traditional Rabbinic teaching in Jesus’ day
was to forgive someone up to 3 times in one day
…
and Peter was suggesting they go up to 7 times; more than twice
the Rabbi’s commands!
b. He must have figured Jesus was really going to pat him on the
back for his more than spiritual response!!!
c. Jesus’ response must have taken the wind out of Peter’s prideful
response …
when
Jesus said, “not seven times, but
seventy-seven times.” He did not literally mean 490 times in
one day, but was exaggerating to mean
“the number should not be counted Peter!”
We can deduce that because no one would likely do the same sin 490 times
in a single day against you!
Jesus
was using hyperbole to make the point, not a literal new high number.
d. How often we want to attach
“rules” or “limits”
to our forgiveness … but Jesus taught otherwise! And this was the point;
forgiveness should have no boundaries in the
kingdom
of
God!
e. Even Peter’s greater generosity than the Pharisees didn’t come
close to what God expects of us! Peter could take no pride in his
“own extra grace” – it still fell far short
of God’s grace!
2.
Sin is costly!
3.
Our debt is greater than our ability to pay – as is the man in this
parable that Jesus speaks about!
a. The man owed millions and millions of dollars! (10,000
talents are equal today to several millions of dollars in our currency –
quite
possibly over $10,000,000!)
b. This man couldn't pay his debt even if he wanted to, he was a
servant!
Servants in Jesus’ day just didn’t make millions of dollars!
ILLUS:
He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass
himself.
– George Herbert – James S. Hewett,
Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988)
p. 223.
B.
Delivered! Matt. 18:26
1.
Fallacy!
a. The idea that this servant said he would
“pay back everything” is a
complete joke, he was delusional here! He could no more pay back
several millions of dollars than the man in the moon!
b. He was a poor servant in debt by millions, the idea he would pay
it all back was silly! This is the act of desperation – no doubt caused
by the realization that the master was about to take his wife and
children and himself as slaves in return for the debt
(see
18:25)
and literally everything he owned … in other words; he was hopeless and
his debt not only destroyed his own life but that of his family!
2.
Canceled the debt!
a. This desperation act however got an interesting reaction from the
master … the master “took pity on him”
and totally forgives the debt of millions of dollars owed!!!
b. An impossible debt is canceled out of pure grace by the master!
3.
This is real forgiveness -- freedom!
a. The servant couldn’t repay the debt!
b. The servant didn’t deserve the mercy!
c. The servant wasn’t owed the grace!
d. The servant however became the
recipient of pure forgiveness and freedom resulted!
4.
How should someone forgiven so much feel toward others who owe so
little?
II. PROGRAM OF FORGIVENESS Matt. 18:28-30
A.
Rare! Matt.
18:28
1.
Often confused with: Allowing someone to beat you over the head with a
hammer time and again without moving allowing someone to create damage
to you, your family, or the church without impunity
a. Politeness
b. Tact
c. Diplomacy
d. Forgetting -- the issue is not primarily forgetting, but
forgiving.
e. Not just resolution, but restoration!
2.
Notice that when this servant who was forgiven so much meets a fellow
servant who owes him so little (a few dollars in our currency!)
and he “grabbed him and began to choke
him.”
a. This wicked forgiven servant now makes demands on a fellow
servant that owes him a few bucks … after treating him to a beating!
b. Though he had been treated extremely well by his master; he
treats poorly his own fellow servant!
c. What is wrong with this picture?
He
who had been forgiven much, can’t forgive a tiny amount from a fellow
servant?
d. Yet, how about us? Do we ever do this with others?
ILLUS:
On October 17, 1978 Jefferson Davis, President of the Confederacy, was
"forgiven" by the government of the
United States.
He had been dead since 1889. Before the Civil War he had been a
congressman, a senator, and a cabinet member. After the war he was
imprisoned for two years without trial. Then he was released from
prison, but his citizenship was not restored until 1978, a little too
late to do him any good.
-- Robert C. Shannon, 1000 Windows,
(Cincinnati, Ohio: Standard Publishing Company, 1997).
B.
Hard! Matt.
18:29-30a
1.
Contradicts our idea of fairness!
a. The fellow servant makes the same request, to be patient and he
will repay all … only this time it is a reasonable request, he probably
really can repay a few dollars given some time!
b. There is the possibility of making this right if allowed some
time!
This
was not an unreasonable request by this fellow servant.
c. The hard hearted first servant however refuses to allow the
request; though he had made the same request, though his own request was
foolish pride … he could never have repaid his master millions of
dollars!
d. He just wanted his own satisfaction!
2.
Denies compensation – “But I deserve...”
3.
Real forgiveness accepts hurt and suffering and deals with it!
ILLUS:
When King Henry II was provoked to take up arms against his ungrateful
and rebellious son, he besieged him in one of the French towns. The
son, being near to death, desired to see his father and confess his
wrongdoing, but the stern old sire refused to look the rebel in the
face. The young man being sorely troubled in his conscience said to
those about him, "I am dying, take me from my bed, and let me lie in
sackcloth and ashes, in token of my sorrow for my ingratitude to my
father."
Thus he died, and when the tidings came to the old man outside the
walls that his boy had died in ashes, repentant for his rebellion, he
threw himself upon the earth, and said, "Would God I had died for him."
The thought of his boy's broken heart touched the heart of the father.
-- Charles Haddon Spurgeon, The Quotable Spurgeon, (Wheaton: Harold Shaw
Publishers, Inc, 1990)
Like
David in 2 Samuel 12, willing to die for his son .Like Paul, willing to
trade his soul for the souls of his brethren who would not listen Rom
9:3
David and Paul, wonderful gestures, full sacrifice, but not
God's plan. Many parents feel this way today when have a child very ill,
or a close friend. Not God's plan, even if we think it should be. Want
to help this person? Teach them the gospel. THAT is God's Plan!
4.
It denies my rights at getting even!
5. It means compassion, not compensation!
C.
Costly! Matt.
18:30b
1.
Costs my pride!
2.
Costs the pleasure of getting even!
a. He could have gotten the repayment from this guy with a little
additional time, but instead chooses to punish him!
b. Jail will take longer, but the pain inflicted will make him feel
superior!
3.
Failed forgiveness costs my time and maybe even pain and hurt!
4.
Costs my rights!
ILLUS:
There is one eternal principle which will be valid as long as the world
lasts. The principle is -- Forgiveness is a costly thing. Human
forgiveness is costly. A son or a daughter may go wrong; a father or a
mother may forgive; but forgiveness has brought tears. ... There was the
price of a broken heart to pay.
Divine forgiveness is costly. God is love, but God is holiness.
God, least of all, can break the great moral laws on which the universe
is built. Sin must have its punishment or the very structure of life
disintegrates. And God alone can pay the terrible price that is
necessary before men can be forgiven. Forgiveness is never a case of
saying: "It's all right; it doesn't matter." Forgiveness is the most
costly thing in the world.
-- William Barclay in The Letter to
Hebrews. Christianity Today, Vol. 36, no. 11.
5. Yet we are to forgive freely!
III.
SCOPE OF FORGIVENESS Matt. 18:31-35
A.
Immediate! Matt. 18:31-32
1.
Unconditional!
a. Doesn't require proof.
b. Christ forgave his executioners at the cross not
after the cross!
2.
Upon request!
a. Granted immediately.
b. Not a “wait and see” attitude.
ILLUS:
Clara Barton was never known to hold resentment against anyone. One
time a friend recalled to her a cruel thing that had happened to her
some years previously, but Clara seemed not to remember the incident.
"Don't you remember the wrong that was done you?" the friend asked
Clara. She answered calmly, "No, I distinctly remember forgetting
that."
-- James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited
(Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988)
c. The other servants who witnessed this mean spirited servant went
to the master immediately … they could see the obvious travesty of
justice here in forgiveness!
d. You know, the world is watching those who call themselves
“Christians” and all our talk about “forgiveness” and how we treat
others too! It will make little sense to talk about a wonderful God who
has forgiven us so much when we can’t even forgive little things about
one another!
3.
How do we treat fellow servants?
B.
Continual
Matt. 18:33
1.
Not rehearsed!
a. By our actions
b. By our words
2.
Not postponed!
a. “I'll get even one day for
this...”
b.
“Just wait until they want some help
from me...”
c. Rejoicing over their hurt later from something that happens down
the road.
3.
Not just a cover up -- a removal or postponement!
ILLUS:
A man lay on his deathbed, harassed by fear because he had harbored
hatred against another. He sent for the individual with whom he had had
a disagreement years before; he then made overtures of peace. The two
of them shook hands in friendship. But as the visitor left the room,
the sick man roused himself and said, "Remember, if I get over this, the
old quarrel stands."
-- G. Ray Jordan -- James S. Hewett,
Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988)
p. 216.
Dad, Mom, Aunt Katherine visit man seriously ill in hospital who had
something against Dad, tells them to leave, kicks Aunt Katherine's purse
across the room
4.
The master had let the first servant leave after forgiving his debt of
millions … there would be no rehearsal of his debt, no reminders of his
debt, he was a free man once forgiven.
a. The only reason now for bringing him back and reminding him of
what he had been forgiven of was because of his failure to forgive a
small debt of a fellow servant and the horrible treatment he had given
that fellow servant.
b. Had this not happened there would never have been a reminder of
his previous debt.
5. The canceled debt was good forever … had he extended mercy to
others.
6. We who have been given much, owe much.
C.
Final Matt.
18:34-35
1.
If it isn't rehearsed it may eventually die in the memory too!
2.
Forgetting is the result of true forgiveness not the process of
forgiving!
I've
heard some say if didn’t forget, didn’t really forgive. Hog wash!
Not a commandment to forget, but to forgive. If you can
forget, even better!
Not predicated on your ability to do this however
3.
Healing of relationships demonstrates final
forgiveness!
a. The real proof of true forgiveness comes in the restoration of a
relationship!
ILLUS:
On a cold winter evening a man suffered a heart attack and after being
admitted to the hospital, asked the nurse to call his daughter. He
explained, "You see, I live alone and she is the only family I have."
The nurse went to phone the daughter. The daughter was quite upset and
shouted, "You must not let him die! You see, Dad and I had a terrible
argument almost a year ago. I haven't seen him since. All these months
I've wanted to go to him for forgiveness. The last thing I said to him
was 'I hate you."' The daughter cried and then said, "I'm coming now.
I'll be there in thirty minutes."
The patient went into cardiac arrest, and code 99 was alerted. The
nurse prayed, "O God, his daughter is coming. Don't let it end this
way." The efforts of the medical team to revive the patient were
fruitless. The nurse observed one of the doctors talking to the
daughter outside the room. She could see the pathetic hurt in her
face. The nurse took the daughter aside and said, "I'm sorry." The
daughter responded, "I never hated him, you know. I loved him, And now
I want to go see him." The nurse took her to the room, and the daughter
went to the bed and buried her face in the sheets as she said good-bye
to her deceased father. The nurse, as she tried not to look at this sad
good-bye, noticed a scrap of paper on the bed table. She picked it up
and read: "My dearest Janie, I forgive you. I pray you will also
forgive me. I know that you love me. I love you, too Daddy."
-- James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited
(Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988) p. 201.
b. This is what the master originally did for this first servant at
first; he restored him to a free man.
c. This is what Christ did for us; He restores us to relationship
with God.
4.
When we forgive someone it becomes real when they are restored to
relationship with us.
a. If we hold them off and ignore them, they are not restored; hence
we have not truly forgiven them – and cannot find our own forgiveness.
b. The wicked servant will not be forgiven because he failed to
forgive so little from a fellow servant … and in fact, he will not only
go to jail, but be tortured until he dies for his failure to forgive –
now he must pay back the millions he owed originally!
Mat
18:34
“In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured,
until he should pay back all he owed.”
Can you see the anger our Lord will have against us if we fail to
forgive those who hurt us? Any doubt how important forgiveness is in
our lives?
c. The debt is cancelled, not ignored or avoided in real forgiveness
… it must be final or our own sins will come back unforgiven!
IV.
FREEDOM OF FORGIVENESS!
A.
Freedom for
The Offender
1.
Freedom
from:
a. Guilt
b. Penalty
c. Consequences (Although sometime restitution should be made
where possible)
d. Severed relationships.
2.
Freedom
to:
a. Have peace again!
b. To try a new start.
c. Have a new relationship.
d. Experience grace!
ILLUS:
A man in conversation with John Wesley once made the comment, "I never
forgive." Wesley wisely replied, "Then, sir, I hope that you never sin."
-- Quoted by Ron Klassen in the Christian
Leader (Sept. 12, 1989). Christianity Today, Vol. 33, no. 17.
B.
Freedom for The Offended
1.
Freedom
from:
a. Bitterness
b. Revenge
c. Hurt in the long run.
ILLUS:
Chris Carrier of
Coral Gables,
Florida,
was abducted when he was 10 years old. His kidnapper, angry with the
boy's family, burned him with cigarettes, stabbed him numerous times
with an ice pick, then shot him in the head and left him to die in the
Everglades.
Remarkably, the boy survived, though he lost sight in one eye. No one
was ever arrested.
Recently, a man confessed to the crime. Carrier, now a youth
minister at
Granada
Presbyterian Church, went to see him.
He found David McAllister, a 77-year-old ex-convict, frail and blind,
living in a
North Miami Beach
nursing home. Carrier began visiting often, reading to McAllister from
the Bible and praying with him. His ministry opened the door for
McAllister to make a profession of faith.
No arrest is forthcoming; after 22 years, the statute of limitations
on the crime is long past. In Christian Reader (Jan/Feb 98), Carrier
says, "While many people can't understand how I could forgive David
McAllister, from my point of view I couldn't not forgive him. If I'd
chosen to hate him all these years, or spent my life looking for
revenge, then I wouldn't be the man I am today, the man my wife and
children love, the man God has helped me to be."
-- Merv Budd,
London,
Ontario.
Leadership, Vol. 19, no. 2.
d. Broken relationships.
2.
Freedom
to:
a. Love again.
b. Peace
c. To understand others and ourselves.
d. To have a new relationship.
C.
To Both
1.
To experience something of the Divine!
a. To know what it is to have God's heart and God's favor.
b. To sense what God senses!
2.
To taste the glory of grace and mercy.
ILLUS:
Not long before she died in 1988, in a moment of surprising candor on
television, Marghanita Laski, one of our best-known secular humanists
and novelists, said: "What I envy most about you Christians is your
forgiveness; I have nobody to forgive me."
-- John Stott in The Contemporary
Christian. Christianity Today, Vol. 38, no. 7.
3.
To have God's forgiveness as well as a better relationship!
a. With God!
b. With each other!
CONCLUSION:
In God's kingdom forgiveness is not an option, it is mandatory --
to be forgiven and to forgive! God has called us to be forgiven
forgivers!
"Forgive as freely as the Lord has forgiven you."
Col. 3:13
"Be ready to forgive others as God for Christ sake hath forgiven you."
Eph. 4:32
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