WHEN OUR ADULT CHILDREN DISAPPOINT US

 Text: Luke 15: 11-24 Then He said: "A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, `Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.' So he divided to them his livelihood. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living. But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself, he said, `How many of my father's hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants. And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, `Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said to his servants, `Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' And they began to be merry.

 (Read Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.)

A. Many parents (brothers & Sister, family etc. fit as well) have done their best in instructing their children in God’s will, but now find themselves in the role of spectator (rather than instructor) to seemly unspiritual kids.

B. Many a parent has asked the question where did we go wrong?

1. “I brought him to church with me all of his life.”

2. “We tried to teach her God’s way.”

3. “I’ve lectured until I’m blue in the face.”

4. “I don’t know what to say or do.”

C. The child’s rebellion causes Mom & Dad’s heart to break, the hurt and the pain are real.

D. They feel they have failed.

WHAT CAN & SHOULD YOU DO WHEN YOUR ADULT CHILDREN (OR FAMILY MEMBERS) DISAPPOINT YOU. 

I. RESPECT YOUR CHILDREN’S DECISIONS.

            A. They are adults now.

B. They are accountable to God.

C. The father gave the son the inheritance, even though Dad’s years of wisdom told him that his son’s decision was not wise- Luke 15:11-12 Then He said: "A certain man had two sons. "And the younger of them said to his father, `Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.' So he divided to them his livelihood.

D. If you never turned loose of their hand they never would have walked!

 II. DON’T RESCUE.  

A. The Prodigal son’s father did not assemble a caravan of camels and servants to ride off to rescue his son. Luke 15:20- 22 And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, `Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son. "But the father said to his servants, `Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet.

B. Even though ever instinct in you tells you to rescue them you simply can not continue going after them.  

III. WAIT. 

A. Wait, Wait Wait.

B. The Father Waited then welcomed- Luke 15:20 And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.  

IV. BE GUILT FREE. 

A. Ask for, then accept God’s promised forgiveness- 1 Jn. 2:1-2 My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world.

B. Remember Prov. 22:6 is a principle, not a guarantee- PROVERB- 1. A short, pithy saying in frequent and widespread use that expresses a basic truth or practical precept. (Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it).

V. DON’T GIVE UP HOPE. 

A. Others will give up on your children, don’t you.

B. Your child’s life is not over, the final chapter has not yet been written. 

VI. BE BLAME FREE. 

A. Both parents and Children have a God-given responsibility.

1. Eph. 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. VS. Eph. 6:1-3. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth."

2. Col. 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. VS. Col. 3:20. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

B. You have done your best. Even if you have made mistakes it is not your fault.

C. God does not require perfection just faithfulness. 

VII. DON’T MAKE EXCUSES FOR NEGLIGENT CHILDREN. 

A. It is his wife/ her husband.

B. The elders should have…

C. The preacher never . . .. 

D. People in Jesus day were making excuses for not taking care of their parents- Mk. 7:9-13 9 He said to them, "All too well you reject the commandment of God, that you may keep your tradition. For Moses said, `Honor your father and your mother'; and, `He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.' But you say, `If a man says to his father or mother, "Whatever profit you might have received from me is Corban"--' (that is, a gift to God), then you no longer let him do anything for his father or his mother, making the word of God of no effect through your tradition which you have handed down. And many such things you do." 

VIII. PRAY! (This is one thing you can do) 

A. Job 1:5 So it was, when the days of feasting had run their course, that Job would send and sanctify them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, "It may be that my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts." Thus Job did regularly.

B. David prayed for his children.

1. 2 Sam 7:26 “Let the house of Your servant David be established before You.”

2. 1 Chron. 22:12 "Only may the Lord give you wisdom and understanding, and give you charge concerning Israel, that you may keep the law of the Lord your God

C. Hannah prayed for her child- 1 Sam. 1:27 "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. 

XI. LEAN ON YOUR CHRISTIAN FAMILY.

A. Too often we are ashamed.

B. God has surrounded you with brothers and sisters who care.

C. Don’t be too proud to share your burden- Gal. 6:2 “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” 

X. REMAIN FAITHFUL. 

A. Psa 37:23 -26 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, And He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; For the Lord upholds him with His hand. I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendants begging bread. He is ever merciful, and lends; And his descendants are blessed.

B. If you don’t remain faithful, what are the chances of restoring your child? 

CONCLUSION 

A. God is the perfect parent and we are His children.

B. The fact that we sin is not a reflection on His parenting abilities, but rather, proof that we are free moral agents.

C. Just because our children have strayed does not necessarily mean that we have failed as parents (any more than God has failed), but it is an indication that each individual, even my child, has a God-given freedom of choice.

D. You must make a choice right now.